Tuesday, January 8, 2013
Music Really Is Good For The Soul
Nine days ago my daughter, my VERY good friend, moved far, far away. She also left with her brand new daughter, Piper. My first granchild. I am currently trying to learn to cope with their absence.
Leslie is one of my five children. She is 27 years old and lives with her husband and her new daughter in Central Asia. Leslie came home to have her baby in America. She arrived on October 17th. She was 35 weeks pregnant and she came all by herself. Her husband followed her three weeks later.
Leslie and Josh lived with us until December 28th. Leslie gave birth to a beautiful baby girl on November 20th. Piper Grace is her name and I completely feel her as a part of me. I love her so much. I had the privilege of having Piper come home from the hospital and live at our home.
First, Leslie arrived. Three weeks later, Josh arrived. Two weeks after that, Piper arrived! She was born the day before Thanksgiving. A new person for me to love.
And, love her I do.
Fast forward to December 28th. The day had come to say goodbye. I drove Leslie, Josh and Piper to the airport. We had decided not to have a crowd at the airport. You see, last spring when they originally moved, the airport goodbye was grueling. This time, there is a baby to think about. A crying crowd cannot possibly be good for a five week old baby. So, the rest of our LARGE family said goodbye at our home and I was going to say goodbye at the airport.
Their first flight was delayed due to snow, so I got some extra time with Piper (and her parents). We sat at the table in our chairs and just spent the last hour with each other. Not too much was said, we were pretty much overflowing with emotions
We said our goodbyes, cried our tears and I took the hike back the parking lot. Alone. There was a little bit of snow, so the parking lines were missing. Well, I accidentally drove over the sidewalk and took a shortcut to the exit. Both of the girls in the booths were laughing hysterically at me. When I gave the girl my parking slip, she told me that I had just driven over the sidewalk. "Oh - so that was the big bump?" Then, I started to laugh with them. Funny thing was, I didn't even care. You see, I have driven over sidewalks before. Once on purpose while getting out of park after dark in Grand Haven and once when I was trying to find a parking spot (also snow covered lines). I actually laughed through my tears and headed for home.
Now that I am home, I miss them. I miss them so much. About five days after they left, I woke up in the morning hearing Miranda Lambert singing "Over You". The chorus was singing over and over in my mind. The words were exactly how I was feeling.
"But you went away....
How dare you....
I miss you"
I couldn't have said it any better myself. I heard the song in my mind all day. I was officially sad. I woke up hearing those words, and they stayed with me all day. When I got home from work, I got on my laptop and watched the video. As I was watching the video, hope welled up inside me. I suddenly was feeling a sense of happiness. After hearing the sad song all day, I realized how lucky I am to have Piper to love, The person the song was written for had died. No one in my family died, they moved. I was going to see them again. It will be a LONG journey, but I will see them again. I am so lucky to be Piper's Grandma! I AM going to go on an adventure. I AM going to Central Asia to visit them!
The sad song that was playing in my head when I woke up, had brought me joy as the day ended. I have felt sad many times since then, but I am feeling better. I have been listening to a lot of music since they left. I have found comfort in music. Some songs make me sad. Some songs make me want to dance. Some songs bring memories. Some songs don't do anything for me. Feeling while listening to music is therapy to me. I have always enjoyed music. I never realized how much sadness and comfort the same song could bring.
Every one of us deals with our pain in whatever way works for us. Music has been a very special comfort to me.
Music speaks to my soul. I imagine if you let it, it will speak to your soul as well. .